end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
