i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
