i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
