and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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