i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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