I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Two words: nipple clamps
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