I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
they need to just BURY HIM!
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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