the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
