Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Someone came in the potted fern
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize