we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
