We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
