I'd wear matching sweaters with you
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
