Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
