Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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