I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Randomize
