I got chris browned last night
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
