dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
