I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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