If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
