I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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