So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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