I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
