I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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