My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
We are two peas in an std pod
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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