the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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