Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I just found puke in my bra..
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
