Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Randomize