Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
