well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize