wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
