I puked a lego.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
please don't ironically join a cult
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