This girl is more easily done than said...
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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