I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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