Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize