Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
