She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
