then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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