Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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