Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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