You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
