My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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