Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
