He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
