she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
It's official drugs can't kill me
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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