Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
