i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize