But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
