The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
True college students do jello shots in the library
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