fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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