Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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