I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
