My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
