Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
my being single is dangerous.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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