My sheets look like a crime scene.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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