He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
