I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Fuck me I smell like cheese
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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