it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
