Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
