who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
