last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize