Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
